našel na redcafeu ...
John Terry wakes up one morning, showers, and puts on his best
tracksuit ready for another hard day's work of being an over-
privileged little shit.
Catching sight of himself in the mirror he thinks, "By god, John,
you're looking good this morning." He admires the fine cut of his
outfit and the neat trim of his bum fluff, and flexes his biceps.
"Feeling good, too," he notes proudly at the firm swell of muscle
underneath the chel$ki kit he's wearing.
He enters the kitchen downstairs and his wife, hands him a bowl of
cornflakes. "You're looking fit this morning."
"I certainly am," says the thick pillock appreciatively. "I feel good
as well."
"But you're not smelling so good, mind," comments his beloved. John
takes a sniff. "You're right there," he says worriedly, "I am smelling
a bit rough."
He eats his cereal, downs his coffee, and sets off for stamford bridge.
"Good morning to you, sweetie," he grins at Avram Grant.
"It's a fine morning john," says Avram, "and you're looking really
good."
"Why thank you. I look good, and I feel pretty good as well," says
John flexing both arms for his benefit.
"Christ, John!" winces Avram in disgust, "you smell awful!"
Worried, Terry visits his doctor.
"Doc, I've got a problem. I look good, I feel great, but I smell
awful."
The doctor reaches down his medical dictionary. "You look good..." he
mutters as he scans down the page, "feel great... but... smell awful.
Hmmm, yes... It's quite simple, John..." the doctor says.
"Well, what is it?"
"You're a cunt."
_____
A Chelsea supporter goes to his doctor to find out what's wrong with him.
"Your problem is you're fat, "says the doctor.
"I'd like a second opinion" responds the man.
"OK, you're ugly too" replies the doctor.