Red Devils Slovenia forum

Liverpool have signed Michael Jackson! At a press conference today Jacko said "The prospect of being spanked by 11 kids at home was just too good to turn down!".

Tottenham

Getting millions for Carrick was like winning the lotto
But they blew it on Chimbonda and Assou-Ekotto
They bought Hossam Ghaly, who's now got no teeth,
And whose father should really have worn a good sheath,
They spent quite a bit on Didier Zokora,
Who's like a midfield version of Bobby Zamora,
They brought back Mido, who's got a big conk,
And spunked a few million on Steed Malbranque.
They kept Lee and Stalteri, who like to lick sherbet off
The balls of Robbie Keane, and Dimitar Berbatov
They've still got Danny Murphy, who resembles The Brain,
And bought Ricardo Rocha, to add to their pain,
They've got Paul Robinson, who likes to kick air
And Jermaine Jenas, who's got greasy hair;
They've got Aaron Lennon, who'll be so delighted
When he gets his move to Manchester United,
They've got King and Dawson, who look pretty neat
But still seem incapable of keeping a clean sheet
They've got Anthony 'uphill' Gardner,
And Tom Huddlestone, the transfer muppet dick-hardener,
And that's pretty much all of the boys in white,
It's a shame for them they're just a bit shite.

A primary teacher starts a new job at a school on Merseyside and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is a Liverpool fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Liverpool fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?"

"Because I'm not a Liverpool fan," she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asks: "Well, if you're not a Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan of?"

"I'm a Manchester United fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why are you a United fan?"

"Because my mum and dad are from Manchester, and my mum is a United fan and my dad is a United fan, so I'm a United fan too!"

"Well," said the teacher, in an annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you to be a United fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time.

What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and car thief, what would you be then?"

"Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be a Liverpool fan."

Giggs has won 23 trophies for Man Utd. They have been either Premier League/FA Cup/League Cup/European Cup/European Cup Winners Cup/International Cup or Charity Sheild.

Chelsea have won as a club 20 trophys, however only 16 of these are classed as major.

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